《厦门日报》，2012年3月29日 

跨国婚姻在美国一捞一大把。有的是男方在外国工作时，近水楼台摘了鲜花；有的是电子媒婆凑合；有的在第三国旅游时一见钟情；有的是在美国相遇。总之，结婚前千篇一律无限浪漫，婚后则是各人念经，千奇百怪。

有一次，洋朋友给我送来一个刚过门的“新媳妇”，九十天的结婚签证还有几天就要到期，她连箱子都没有打开，想打退堂鼓呢！问我有什么办法留下她？我说什么好呢？当初用翻译机谈恋爱，女方确实很漂亮。来到美国两眼一抹黑，电视也好，电台也好，不论上街还是逛商店，听不懂，看不懂，只有老公的肢体语言。 我说，回国有压力，如果你顶得住，就回去。但是，回去也得找对象，路也长得很。至少，美国的未婚夫是爱你的，你只是对异国他乡没有足够的准备而已，我们都经历过。后来，她留下来，没几天就结婚了。

一个大陆的年轻富婆，嫁给一个种花个体户，以为嫁到了花果山，却不知远在偏僻山村，一年四季，顶烈日遭寒风，原来是来当农民的啊！进退两难，独吞泪水。

有的中国新娘说得一口流利的英文，并在美国有工作和收入，接下来则是文化习惯上的你争我夺。吃饭时，要正襟危坐，喝汤不能出声音。“请”字和“谢谢”挂在嘴边；穿着土里土气。中国人勤俭；洋人借债贪玩。中国人重视教育，爱好读书，美国人乐于户外，爬山划船，大相径庭。但是，中国新娘嫁到美国，就要理解和学做美国人。心里窝囊有什么用？有本事把洋老公带到中国去住几年。

也有洋人欣赏中国文化的，配置红木家具，藤条沙发，种竹养鱼，时逢佳节，一身绸缎，闪闪唐装。再好一层，学说中国语言。跨国婚姻的顶峰是天天能吃中国菜。百里挑一，如果被你遇上了，所有的缺点都可以原谅。做梦去吧！吃是一种心理行为，小时候就定型了。

我们这些洋插队的“过埠新娘”就像一支中国娘子军，经常一起吃饭看电影，抱怨管抱怨，窝囊管窝囊，却没见离婚的。女人喜欢得到老公的宠爱。洋人嘴上甜蜜蜜，送花送珠宝（哪怕借钱买），多搂抱多亲吻，一切不满都烟消云散啦。这行当，洋人可比中国男人能干多了。

 Chinese Brides In The US

Cross-border marriages are everywhere in America today. Some brides were chosen by American men who worked in China; some were found by online matchmaking; some met while traveling in China. Some single Chinese ladies were already in America and then met nice American men and got married. In short, before marriage everything is lovely and exciting with unlimited romance, and after marriage everyone has a different story. .
Once, my American friend sent his fiancée to my home, and told me that her visa will expire in a few days. She had only ninety days on the fiancée  visa and since they did not get married she is going to return to China now. He wanted to know if there was any way that I could help him to keep her here? What can I say? The lady is indeed very pretty and attractive, but doesn’t speak English. They communicate by electronic translator ever since they met. When she got into the US she was shocked – she did not understand anything, TV, radio, on the street, in the stores, just like being blind and deaf. She only understands her husband's body language. I talked to her about her situation. I said that it’s OK if you can take the pressure to go back to China. However, you are still looking for a husband, in China you have to start all over again. At least here you have your fiancée who loves you. Your problem is that you didn’t prepare enough to be in a foreign country. This is a normal thing for all the Chinese brides. After that I found out that she stayed and got married a few days later.

A young wealthy Chinese lady married an American guy who owns his own nursery. She dreamed a beautiful picture of their marriage before she came to America as living in the “Flower and Fruit Mountain”. She was very upset when she got to his home, which is far away from the city. She found out later on that her life is just as a farmer, she works in the field all year long. Whatever the weather, the hot summers and cold winters , she has to work in the field and her eyes get filled with tears.

Some Chinese ladies speak fluent English and have jobs and a good income in the states. Then after they get married they discover cultural problems in their marriage. Things such as eating different food, table manners such as drinking soup without making noise,  learning to say "please “and "thank you" all the time, dressing sloppy, etc. To be thrifty is a Chinese tradition, but Americans enjoy having fun by spending money they borrow from the bank. Chinese love to read and respect education very much but Americans enjoy outdoor life, mountain climbing, cycling and boating. However, despite all the differences the priority for the bride should be to become an American and learn and understand American traditions and their lifestyles. Complaining is useless and hopeless. If you like to keep the Chinese lifestyle, please bring your American husband back to China and live there for a few years.

There are some American husbands who appreciate Chinese culture, such as antique mahogany furniture, rattan chairs, bamboo plants, gold and red Chinese carps, etc. When it comes to the Chinese festive season, they wear the sparkling silk costume. Even more, they study the Chinese language. But to the Chinese bride, what matters most is to eat Chinese food every day. It is every bride’s dream to have her American husband want to do so too, but unluckily eating is a habit shaped while in your childhood. If her husband would eat Chinese food every day, all his shortcomings can be forgiven.

Those of us who have walked in her husband’s shoes as Chinese brides are united . We often eat out in a restaurant and watch movies together. We complained and criticized our husband and life in the US, but no one mentioned divorce! A woman likes to be her husband's favorite, to be called sweetie and honey, get flowers and receive jewelry (even if he has to borrow money to buy it), and get a lot of hugs and kisses -  then all of the discontent disappears. American husbands really know how to please their wives – much more so than Chinese men.